”I have to tell you something,” my friend says, breaking the silence in the car that exudes of morning tiredness. We are driving to school. It’s early. The night’s dreams are – for some – still clear in memory. “I dreamt I had sex with _” (he’ll remain anonymous, but he is a common friend of ours). And then the car burst out in laughter. It was a rather absurd image that popped up in our heads.
She had not intended to tell us this, she said. “When I woke up, I was like ‘no one will ever know this. I won’t tell nobody.” But then she realized it was kinda of funny and couldn’t hold it in anymore. The absurd thing is that she has never thought of him in this way, but in the dream it was pretty logic how she ended up in his bed. That is why she as well as the rest of us were a little bit surprised. Out of anyone that could have appeared in her sex dream, he would be the guy?
We laughed it off. Cause it was just a dream after all, and for the most part dreams are inexplicable. And yet we are afraid to tell when we dream something like this because we believe it matters, that it means something, that there is actually some truth to it.
If she dreamed she had sex with him, does it mean she wants to? Was it harmless fantasy or does she have some hidden desire to be with him? Or does it simply mean she wants to have sex? And he was the guy for it because we have been hanging out with him and the other guys so much lately, that they are indeed very present in our consciousness? Only she can tell I guess.
Sex dreams are still tabooed, it’s not something you yell out over the breakfast table. And it’s very personal, which is probably also a reason why you don’t just talk about it over a glass of milk and a bowl of cornflakes. We put all sorts of meaning into our dreams, but oftentimes we can’t remember then. That’s probably why we’re so baffled when we do remember. And dreams are often so illogic and yet logic that it makes no sense to retell them if you in fact remember. Cause either we’re embarrassed by the choice of guy that appeared in the sex dream (had it been Zack Efron as he is in “The Lucky One,” she would have rushed to tell us) or we can’t make it make it sense. But hey – it’s just a dream.